Taylors Arm 'Chainsaw Massacre' 2014

Below is a video, it may take some time to load but trust me I think you will find it quite unique and more than a little frightening. Turn your sound up LOAD

After last years damp outing this year proved to be fine, warm and noisy.

As Billy is a cripple (drove backup car), Dingo is moving house (drove old truck) and Dick went missing somewhere near Queanbeyan NSW (drives his missus mad) ah! now on the topic of Dick (not that sort of dick, get it above the waistline sunshine) if you happen to see a little guy meandering about who looks remarkably like a hobbit albeit without hairy feet, please point in the direction of Parliament House, put a beer in his hand and say "plenty more beer........that way" and gently shove him in out of Quangers. Anyhow due to the issues mentioned above it was down to me a Swoop to hold up the motorcycle torch on our yearly trek north to warmer climates, cool beer, good mates, great riding and Stinky Cheese. We headed up to Sydney at 6am as I had to get a service for the trusty and now despicably filthy High Ball at this stage particular thanks go to Swoops mate (name unknown sorry) that lent Swoop the SV1000 for the run and it turned out to be a pretty good runner too so thanks again whoever you are.

No this isn't my despicably filthy High Ball but Noddys outrageously dirty Deuce

We got to Victory after Swoop and I did our best to get lost only to find when we pulled over and checked the map that we were only 500 metres away from the shop, bloody typical! I got to hand it to Tom and the rest of the guys at Victory Sydney they are welcoming, friendly and thier work is first rate but guys, please, please, please when you are asked for a quote at least be close. A bill $137 more than quoted is not something you want the day you are heading on a run and this has been the same scenario everytime I have been there! really it ain't that hard watch....question "how much is a 24,000 klm service?" answer is $blah see easy because to be fair I don't think this is the first service they have done so they should have the whole costing thing down by now. Now that the rant is over it's on with the show so to speak, our depleated band (Ding, Billy, Me, Swoop and Manuel) spent the night at Casa Del Ding out in the burbs but, there is an upside to all things and of course this meant beds were easy to come by and we were not assailed by tails of Dingo's derring-do with regards to female 'bits' and his absolute mastery of said bits.

Thursday morning for us started around 3.45 as that's when Manuel wakes up for work and promptly wanders around making coffee, getting a rollie and firing it up and then fifteen minutes of hacking and gagging in turn as he tries to cough his lungs up and then poke them back in with a big stick. Billy headed off in the car early and went straight to Dingo's and Me, Swoop and Ding took off around 8am and the weather was brilliant and add to that the fact that all were hangover free, there is a lot to be said for having plenty of vegetables with your dinner instead of knocking back copious amounts of liver pickling, brain destroying liquid death. We stopped at the twin servo's somewhere near Hornsby (I think) I need to point out at this juncture that my navagational skills are someone lax so whilst I can give you some indication as to where we were I cannot in many instances be precise. We then shuffled off to Goolongolook, see precise cos that's where the Salty Dog is (although the spelling may be iffey) and from there it was a brief hop over to Dingo's place in Kempsey. It is always nice to see some things are consistent and Dingo always aims to please in this regard and that means the road in was still crap, the driveway fall of lumps, bumps and dusty as hell (as opposed to last years lumps, bumps and slippery as greased midget in a tub of margarine) and who else but that god damned 'Tin Man' (See Brass Balls 2014 for full details) was waiting for me with a smirk on his ugly little face but I refused to be drawn into a repeat of July and he spent the next couple of days sulking in the corner. Dingo, Billy and Hoss were well into it when we arrived so we did whatever was necessary to make up for lost time and made a bee-line for fucked up as quickly as possible :) Mustard, the proud and only member of the Qld SoA Road Crew turned up about 30 minutes later, oddly though he was on his own but told us not to worry as that Noddy and his missus had stopped for a feed in Kempsey and Bender would find his own way there that was when we cracked up and I think Billy might have actually had a little piss in his durps it was that funny.. I should explain Bender has only recently been given that moniker, previously he had been known as O.D (One Direction) and that direction was lost and it wasn't 5 minutes later that Mustard got the call we were all expecting and had to go back into town as Bender surprisingly had misplaced Dingos house well this cracked up even more. Mustard just smiled and went back out to get him and within the hour Noddy, Glennys, Bender & he were all back getting stuck into anything that was going, if it was liquid they drank it and any vegetables laying about didn't stand a chance (guess they were hungry eh). Some impromptu work was done to Benders exhaust as it seemed that the gas that supposed to vent through the holes at the back were merrily making their way out of holes er not at the back. Some swearing, welding, swearing, welding, swearing and finally grinding soon put a stop, or at least major slow down to this issue.

We headed over to the Arms around 10:30am and after being stopped by the temporary red light camera on the road to the Arms from Macksville (the same temporary camera that hasn't moved in twelve months) we got in round noon, unpacked and got on it. About 6pm saw the Vagabonds MC arrive and let me say that was quite an impressive arrival indeed with a good sized crew making their way down from Brisbane and the party certainly picked up a notch and old friendships were rekindled and new one's made. When you get a group of guys together and add the right condiments you get some very deep and meaningful conversations heading into the night, with the last one involving crutches and the insertion of same at around 4am thus putting an end to the very interesting anatomical discussion concerning family lineage and once again female bits. Saturday was a bit cloudy but the weather held and the Poker Run kicked off at 11 hit 4 of the areas best kept liquid resellers and was back to the Arms by 4pm, winners were announced, money changed hands and the party got started again with keys sensibly locked away. Stinky Cheese rocked the house again but we found this will be their last year as their guitarist is off to music school next year, sad for us but well deserved for this young fella who is a true muso and when he becomes rich and famous I will proudly say "I've know him since he was 12 and played for and drove the Stinky Cheesers home, true!! I once asked the guys about this and they said made prefectly good sense to them, he was too young to drink therefore the choice of who was driving was easy."

So here's some photos off stuff and to all those that came and partied with us THANKS we'll cya next time on the road eh

I don't want to know what Ding is doing to his beloved Ducati but me thinks the man goes too far

To borrow a line from Johnny Strabler
"Now, listen, you don't go any one special place. That's cornball style. You just go."

So what's on the cards for next year???????

We may no longer hold our Annual Spring Run to Taylors Arm but go back to our old ways of finding a pub, a rally or a show we haven't been to before and checking it out. We have enjoyed our time at TA for it is a truly beautiful spot but after 5 years the thinking is "It's time for a change" so keep yer eyes peeled for updates our runs will always be up that way cos lets face it it's warm and all and by October we here from the frozen centre need some warmth.

Details on all our upcoming runs can be requested from admin@sons-of-aus.com

Sons of Aus