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What the FCUK

Have you ever considered what the world would be like without politicians? Now I don't mean getting rid of bureaucrats as we need them (unfortunately) to run the place, roads, hospitals, water, and power. You know all the necessary stuff that keeps everything running, I mean politicians, those self serving wankers who do nothing beneficial for anyone other than themselves. They keep their noses planted firmly in the trough and make gluttons of themselves gorging on the public purse, whilst ensuring that they have got as much as they can as quickly as possible. Here a few facts that prove that it's great to be a polly

  • Federal MPs are allowed a private car that can be used at any time by anyone in the family. The MP pays just $711 a year for this privilege.
  • In New South Wales, taxpayers fund two fully-furnished National Park homes for state MPs. One is a VIP cottage at Pittwater, near Sydney, that has been available to MPs for $20 per night (average for us plebs in pittwater $300 per night)
  • MPs get a fixed annual electoral allowance that starts at $26,467 and rises to $38,380 in larger electorates. As this 'allowance' is self regulated MPs can spend this 'tax free money" in any way they see fit with no excpetion.
  • MPs' super payouts can be up to 20 times greater than what they paid into them and unlike ordinary Australians who could only receive pensions from the age of 55, politicians can get them at any age.
  • Victorian MPs agreed, in a bipartisan decision, that they should be entitled to taxpayer-funded electorate cars, and have the option of customising them. According to newspaper reports, 98 of the 132 members have since spent at least $220,000 of taxpayers' money customising their Ford Fairmonts. One Labor MP fitted his with a sunroof, body-styling kit, alloy wheels and sports suspension.

    Have you ever had a gander at Parliament on the telly? If you did you would note that there seems to be a great disparity between the amount of seats and the amount of pollies present and those present are often asleep. In most cases these meetings could be held in the tea room and still have empty chairs. It seems to me that if you are in 'power' your job is to continuously tell the public that all of the countries ills are the previous Gumbyments fault whilst all of the good stuff like reducing waiting periods in public hospitals has been achieved through the amazing management of the incumbents (even if they have only been in power three weeks) now that previous statement is of course a hypothetical as waiting periods in real terms have gotten longer and longer. Now I must be fair here I am referring to 'elective' non-life threatening surgery here like hips and knee replacements, apparently the fact that you cannot walk and are in constant extreme pain does not qualify you as urgent so please wait in line sir it shouldn't take more than a year to get to you.

    Now the job better than being in power is being in opposition as that entitles you bag the present party in power about everything but offer no alternatives yourself. I recently watched an opposition spokesmen rail against the NSW government for the state of the bus service and the fact that prices would be going up, his argument was "Why should we pay more for a such a bad service" now let's not forget that should this particular person consider not using his taxpayer funded commonwealth car he would indeed travel on the aforementioned bus for free anyway.

    I have decided that I will run for office at the next election and if successful will rag on everyone, yell loudly, get fat, lazy and go to Sturgis on a fact finding mission with regard to the increasing menace that bikies pose to society, maybe i could get a nice V-Rod to poodle around on while I'm there. Hey don't hassle me it's cheaper than a limo and I don't need a driver, it also means I've got more Travel Allowance to spend on bike parts for my privately funded (but not for long if I get in) scoot, t-shirts and lets not forget the occasional lap dance.

    I am sure that there are some whop will tell you that there are decent, hard working politicians out there who genuinely care about the general public and only want to help and not get fat at our expence and to them I say PIGS ARE PRIMED AND READY TO FLY SIR.

    One final thing trendsetters, the above comments are related to Australian politicians only I am sure that were you live all of your pollies are honest and straight up and if you believe that I have one slightly used Sydney Harbour bridge for sale "cheap".

    Till next time, keep the rubber side down keep ya bags dry and remember

    Sons of Aus - PROUD TO ASSOCIATE -

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